I have long since followed a path to ‘purism’ in the physical body. I didn’t see it as extreme, just practical. I view this incredible vessel we call a body, as an intricate machine. Every part with its own function and yet each function working in conjunction with the WHOLE. Like any machine, it runs best when cared for properly. If you feed it the fuel it needs and knows how to use, it will run efficiently, barring some manner of accident, for its lifetime. But when you use improper fuel, it begins to gum and clog, stiffen and stifle, each degrade effecting the toll on the whole. Therefore, I have found it a simple matter to fuel it with the things that nature provided and to reject the things that man has created in labs and such, because I believe that Creator doesn’t make mistakes nor that what has been provided needs improvement. For this very reason Drew and I decided not to vaccinate our children. I felt that should a disease occur, that it is perfect in its naturalness and it’s treatment is as well, we would address it as we would any other occurrence in life. To INDUCE possible dis-ease by attempting to thwart that which IS, by giving them an essentially unknown substance called vaccine, felt very reckless and truthfully, ludicrous from my perspective. And in a manner of response to my trust in the perfectness of Creation, along comes Nyah’s Leukemia to challenge everything I think I know.
The body is truly an amazing thing. We pollute it in so many ways and yet it has the capacity with which to combat the terrors we unleash upon it. The idea of purity is desirable, but the human experience is BALANCE. These bodies are designed to withstand LIFE. It seems almost a shame not to allow them the brilliance of their shining potential. For me, that perspective makes palatable the many tragedies we are asked to endure, and more than palatable, makes them blessings with which we grow in our knowledge of ourselves and thus our connection to what we are experiencing.
With each step we take, be it a semi permanent IV termed a Port, implanted under the same anesthesia that aided in a Lumbar Puncture and a bone marrow aspirate, (within the first 48 hours of hospitalization) or the Chemo itself, I have had to adjust my perspective, or parish under it. I was given some advise early on from a very good friend who said, “Stand behind the choice you’ve made, this is no the time to second guess yourself.” As time has passed I have come to realize fully the wisdom in that. It is imperative for Nyah’s state of well-being that I am not viewing her treatment as poison. Nyah’s Auntie sent her a book called “Chemo to the Rescue” and upon first seeing it, I scoffed. I was annoyed and disgusted truth be told. I really struggled to think that Chemo was a super hero, not death of purity. I flipped through it, unsure I would show it to her at all, and brought it along to her clinic appointment intending to read it more thoroughly while she was ‘under’ for yet another spinal tap. On our way home she was feeling pretty awful, as was I, and I sought for a distraction the same moment the book slid into her view and she asked me to read it. As I did so, I felt compelled to animate my oratory as implied by the words. She bit… she got involved, asked questions and got excited. It was the first time she cared to interact with us regarding her health and treatments. I had tried to solicit interest from her many times before. Asked her out right if she’d like to know what was going on, or that when she did want to, she need only ask….. Chemo is depicted in the book as a lightning bolt coming out of the medicines, zapping the leukemia cells from the blood. After reading it she happily took her oral meds, that we had fought with her for weeks to take, exclaiming, “Mom, I can feel that little lightning guy zapping those lazy white blood cells and maybe it just hurts a little bit.” ” Hey Mom, I can also feel those cute little red guys carrying air around my body and they kinda tickle!” Giggle, giggle….. That was enough to wake me up to the energetic truth, that she was feeling reticent and afraid before, because I was. And though I had faked my enthusiasm while reading, it became real, as her response to it was REAL. We’d finally connected and began working positively toward healing, together.